Visions of my past

[Cruentus]

I was in the shower this morning and I felt myself set into a forced relaxation any chance I got. My vision started shuttering like an old video camera, black, imagesn, black.

I looked down to the other end of the shower towards the wall and I saw liquid movement which registered as blood to me, I knew it was blood, but I also knew it didn't look like blood. Then i found myself taken on a kind of inner journey I suppose. Like I finally decided to understand myself better.

I was shown many of my past lives in short blurbs, like summaries of what they were, and I was shown one overlying theme, in most in any case.

It seems in many of my past lives, the majority in any case, I was fighting or at least died fighting. I felt a strange occurrence. After a few where I die fighting, I live a life of almost complete peace, as a farmer or something simple along those lines.

While seeing these I noticed an incredible evolution taking place in myself. The discipline that was forming, the intelligence that seemed to skyrocket after the first few. I saw that in each past live leading to this one I became more and more important in things. From a soldier, to someone advising millitary commanders on what may be a good idea.

Through all of these visions I saw a perpetual blood rain, which I understood to be a symbol for the amount of blood I have spilled, or helped to spill in the past.

While there are so many lives I spent in war I find this one was chosen uniquely for me or by me. Whenever I have the chance I would go to war, Indeed in this life I wanted to join the army from when i was young. However I was informed that I am unable to because of a certain disease I have which makes my vision a fragile thing at best. So it seems I forced myself to a place where I cannot fight.

I look back on lives of systematic slaughter, and I did find myself reveling in it. I was shown myself standing in the shower, but the water was the blood I have claimed.

So it seems to me I have lived many lives revolving around death. Yet in this life I find it being the opposite, and the same. I want to get into medical research, but I also want to serve the military by doing so.

So I see myself trying desperately to learn a new.. way, but while I am making progress it is not a process that will be easily completed.

[underground12257]

this sounds very intresting i hope i can have a vision one day too, that be cool.